Best Friends

Reflections on 1 Sam. 18:3-5

“There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Prov. 18:24 ESV). A man with such a friend is more fortunate than a man with “many companions.” In difficult times, companions may abandon you, but your friend who is “closer than a brother” will always stand at your side. Jonathan, King Saul’s son, proved to be such a friend to David.

SHARED FAITH. Although Jonathan was a member of the royal family and older than David, he was much like David. Both had great faith in God when faced with powerful enemies. David said, “The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine” (1 Sam. 17:37 ESV), and Jonathan had said, “Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving by many or by few” (1 Sam. 14:6 ESV). Not only did both have faith, but that faith gave them both courage to act when the king was paralyzed with fear. David faced Goliath while Saul watched from the safety of the Israelite camp (1 Sam. 17:40), and Jonathan had attacked a garrison of the Philistines while Saul fretted at home (1 Sam. 14:1-3). The actions of both men had given courage to soldiers who were faint in heart and roused them to action and victory (1 Sam. 17:52; 1 Sam. 14:20-22).

KINDRED SPIRIT. Jonathan found in David a kindred spirit, and “was knit to the soul of David” (1 Sam. 18:1 ESV). This reminds us of a similar phrase in Gen. 44:30 which describes Jacob’s love for his son Benjamin. Jacob was very reluctant to allow Benjamin to leave home, and here Saul and Jonathan did not allow David to leave their home to return to Bethlehem (1 Sam. 18:2).

FAMILY LOVE. Furthermore, Jonathan loved David “as his own soul” (1 Sam. 18:1 ESV). This phrase is used in Deut. 13:6 to refer to a friend who is as close to a person as a family member, and it should be understood in that light here because, as noted above, David was being drawn into Saul’s household. In Middle Eastern families, and especially a royal family, there would have been stronger friendship ties among males than between males and females. Relationships between males and females were almost non-existent except for marital relationships, but even in the marital relationship, male and female worlds were so different that strong friendships often existed only between members of the same sex. For that reason, David could say that Jonathan’s love surpassed “the love of women” (2 Sam. 1:26 ESV) without implying a homosexual relationship (Cabal, et al., 2007, p. 435). Furthermore, this Hebrew word for “love” often describes love within a family: Abraham loved his son Isaac; Jacob loved his son Joseph; Ruth loved her mother-in-law Naomi; Elkanah loved his wife Hannah, and Rebekah loved her son Jacob (TWOT, #29). It is never used in the Old Testament “to express homosexual desire or activity,” for which the OT uses a different word (Youngblood, 1992, p. 706). As David was being brought into the royal family, both Saul (1 Sam. 16:21) and Jonathan were said to love David. Jonathan, David, and Saul all were, or would be, married and have many children.

A COVENANT. Jonathan’s attraction for David was not merely based their shared activities as soldiers, or even their shared courage. Instead, it was based primarily on their shared faith, and for that reason it was sealed with a covenant made before God (cf. 1 Sam. 20:8). Then in a symbolic gesture, perhaps anticipating Jonathan’s recognition that David would be the next king, the heir apparent gave David his own robe and armor, in effect making David the heir to the throne (Youngblood, 1992, p. 707). (The garment/kingdom theme is also found in 1 Sam. 15:27-28; 24:4, 11, 20.) Because both were committed to God in heart and life, Jonathan would later go to David, who was in great despair at the time because his own people had abandoned him, and “strengthened his hand in God” (1 Sam 23:16).