Use the frame on the left to read these Scriptures.
Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
-- Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina, first sentence
Family feuds have a cast of characters. Some cause trouble, some find trouble, some feed trouble, some are victims of trouble, and some stumble into trouble. Amnon's behavior was fodder for a family feud that David was unable to contain. It ripped through his sons and daughters, their cousins and uncles, and even his own wives killing some and wounding all.
CARNAL SON. Amnon was David's firstborn, the son of Ahinoam from Jezreel in Judah (2 Samuel 3:2). Being the son of a powerful king whom he would probably succeed made Amnon a privileged person. Despite his privilege, he lusted for his beautiful half-sister Tamar, a woman who was forbidden to him by law (Leviticus 18:9) just as his father had lusted for a woman forbidden to him. Amnon's lust for Tamar so consumed him that several people guessed his thoughts. Absalom had observed his lustful looks and immediately knew the cause of Tamar's grief after Amnon raped her (v. 20). Jonadab watched his unsatisfied lust turn to self pity and suggested a way for him to satisfy it. Amnon's lust was not love for Tamar. He did not hesitate to use his strength to overpower Tamar despite her protests. Then when he had proved her weak and vulnerable, he loathed her even more than he had desired her. He threw her out of his house and barred the door. The consequences of his sin proved him to be the fool that Tamar saw him to be.
SHREWD COUSIN. Jonadab was David's nephew, the son of Shimeah (Shammah), who was the third of Jesse's sons (1 Samuel 16:9). He was a shrewd judge of human weakness. He observed Amnon's self pity, and knew David to be a doting father. He was willing to exploit the moral weakness of his uncle and to purvey sexual fantasies to his cousin knowing full well that Amnon would not stop at watching Tamar lustfully but would also rape her.
VIRTUOUS SISTER. Tamar was the daughter of Maacah, the daughter of the king of Geshur and mother of Absalom. Tamar appealed to Amnon not to do anything wicked saying, "Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don't do this wicked thing.... You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel." She plead with Amnon that her virtue might be preserved: "What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace?" Finally, in desperation, she begged Amnon to ask the king that she be given to him in marriage. Although this was forbidden by the Law (Leviticus 18:9; Deuteronomy 27:22), she saw this was a way of preventing a rape (Deuteronomy 22:28). Her pleas were ignored. After Amnon raped her, she tore her virgin's garment as a sign of sorrow and shame. Though beautiful, she remained desolate in the house of her brother Absalom.
INEFFECTUAL FATHER. Although Jonadab and Absalom had seen lust written on Amnon's countenance, David failed to see it. When asked, he granted Amnon's desire to have Tamar sent to his house failing to see that it was not prudent. David was incapable of preventing his own sin from corrupting his children. Then, after Amnon had raped his sister, David failed to punish Amnon for his sin even though David was very angry. Perhaps David was reluctant to discipline Amnon because of his own adultery, or perhaps he was unsure what punishment to mete out according to Law (Deuteronomy 22:28-29; Leviticus 18:9, 29). Regardless, David's silence, his total failure to rebuke Amnon, made David an impotent judge in this case. Where there is no justice, wickedness and every evil work prospers.
PENT-UP BROTHER. Absalom provided refuge for his disgraced sister, but he never said anything to his half-brother Amnon. He waited and saw David's silence and impotence, but Absalom's silence was not the silence of impotence. It was the silence of a man who intensely hated his brother and who was intent on revenge (see Robert Atler, The Art of Biblical Narrative, p. 79).
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